So I kind of forgot about this.. I can't believe the last post was in July.. and I still feel this badly about myself. Skinny Minnie is still a skinny bitch and even worse, now she's got a semi-boyfriend. Which just makes it even harder for me to listen to her complain about herself because now I'm thinking "you've got the body and the boy" and I've just got nothing. It's not like she eats heathily and goes to the gym 24/7 either.. I think that'd make it easier for me because then atleast she'd work hard for it.. She's one of those girls who barely eats when she remembers to which is not very often.
I sound like a shitty friend, huh? Well I guess I am. I don't think I really have any excuse.. but sometimes I just wonder, why does she always have fat friends? She weighs like, 100 pounds and is 5'4". I weigh about 50 pounds more than she does, and I'm the same height. One of our other close mutual friends is about 180 and is 5'6", and Skinny Minnie's old friend is like 200 and the same height. She's always friends with the fatties..
So, fuck. Boys still hate me, I still hate me, and I hate my job, pretty much my whole life. Nothing has changed what so ever...
And I really need it to..
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
This is me.. lately, anyway.
Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough? That's what I feel like. Always, everyday. It's been like this for a while.
Not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not caring enough, not witty enough, not clever enough.
When I'm with my friends it gets a bit better.. I can forget about things for a little bit, unless one of them starts complaining about themselves. Especially the skinny one. We'll call her Skinny Minnie. She complains all the time and pulls at her non-existant stomach fat and Im just thinking 'helloo?! what's wrong with you?' That just makes me wonder whats wrong with my body even more.
Anyway, it's not like a boy has broken my heart - boys aren't interested in me, period, and you get pretty used to that - it's like I've fallen into a funk I can't get myself out of.
It's not like I'm just sad either.. you get over being sad within a few hours or days. I've been feeling like this for the majority of the past three years.
And I feel like I'm the only one.
~Wings.
Not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not caring enough, not witty enough, not clever enough.
When I'm with my friends it gets a bit better.. I can forget about things for a little bit, unless one of them starts complaining about themselves. Especially the skinny one. We'll call her Skinny Minnie. She complains all the time and pulls at her non-existant stomach fat and Im just thinking 'helloo?! what's wrong with you?' That just makes me wonder whats wrong with my body even more.
Anyway, it's not like a boy has broken my heart - boys aren't interested in me, period, and you get pretty used to that - it's like I've fallen into a funk I can't get myself out of.
It's not like I'm just sad either.. you get over being sad within a few hours or days. I've been feeling like this for the majority of the past three years.
And I feel like I'm the only one.
~Wings.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)